Yeah, cool. Let's get going. There's a lot, there's a lot in this lesson. So this one is on creative writing sing. The learning objective is to apply your knowledge of dystopian conventions to your own work. So Yeah, you're going to be doing doing some writing in this one success criteria is to identify key descriptive details from a dystopian stimulus, to apply specific success criteria to your description, and to assess the work of others using specific success criteria. Right the start task. So I think again, like like Wednesday, I'm not sure sort of going and going and searching these apps is massively helpful. So I was thinking maybe if we read through these and if you could try and offer a definition and then I can you know I can give you give you a definition as as we went through. So how would you define tolerance? Appreciate again how the fun. I'll type it. I'll type it in the chat tolerant. It's a bit small the on the document. Oh, tolerant like you accept you accept someone. Yeah good. Yeah but showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with. So Yeah, it's about sort of the difference between your opinions and and then others. How might you define violent. I would define violent as someone who uses someone who instead of using words or persuasion, just uses force. Yeah, great. Using physical force to, if it's intended to hire someone, Yeah, cool. Great. How would you define compassionate? Compassionate. I would define compassionate as someone who who tries to understand the pain of other people, who's open minded about things. Yeah trying to understand Oh, you could also say empathetic would be a word that you might use in there as well emgreat Yeah compassionate feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others. Okay. How do you describe dominant. We don't. I got them. Yeah dominant, I'll put it in the chat. So dominant, someone who who has absolute authority over something. Yeah, someone who has power more auththoyou know, not absolulike who has more like kind of authority over someone or something. Yeah, I think it would be having more power than someone. So Yeah, you're writing that. It's Yeah, I guess you could be dominant by being absolute, but you can also have someone who's dominant without having absolute power over there. Okay. How would you define bliss? Bliss as I look, bliss was like, you know, being happy, like being content at what being like, you know, I think it I thought it was just, you know, being happy. It is. You're right. Yeah. I think it's it's an extreme version of that. It's like perfect happiness, complete joy. So that word is that word relevant here? Because I think you know I mentioned like brave new world the other day. That's a that's a sort of apparently utopian society where everyone is in a state of complete bliss. And I think quite after these stories, they give the impression that being you know, have being a blissful person is. I was going to say that it's possible. I'm sure it's possible without that. But it's let's say they also some of these these societies in these books, they, the population tend to achieve bliss through means that are questionable. So I'd say. Yeah, okay. How would you define you know, all these all these pretty easy from here I got the I was just going to read out the other words because I think what's important here is you've I think you've you've defined the the harder words. I think what's important with these words is that they're just useful useful words to apply to these texts, right? So you've got the word felony. You've got sorrow, insensitive, eager, treasured, favorite, dramatic, awkward, affection, and challenging. So these are all words that you might be you might be using when you're writing about these these texts or that you know a lot of them are concepts that you'll be thinking about when you're working on dystopium fiction. Okay, let's move on to the next one. Okay, so this one is a reading task. So if I give you a moment to have a read of the text here and then ask you a couple of questions about it, that's okay. I think every trinket is like he reminds you of like that one person who who's a bit slow in a way Yeah interesting. Essentially the one who's always a bit slow. And like you, I forget what's happening. So then how might you contrast that with the mood of the crowd? Because who the crowthat that is like really anxious. Hope their family, them or their family are not like with the one of the people chosen, but like every drink is just there. She's just like being very optimistic and all of that. Yeah no, he contracts law with the behavior of the crowd. Yeah, great. We might also say that she's we might say she's fake even so, the kind of slowness that you've described, we might see that as as a tactic. We might see that as as a deliberate, as something fake as well. What do you think that katns is most worried about when Gail looks at her during the reaping? Worcasted cis most worried about when Gail looks at her like she hopes that like they're not one of them the chosen view. Yeah, great. So this is this is sort of some misdirection from the writer because we're we're thinking Oh no, it's gonna to be gale right? But then actually it's print Yeah so it's sort of helpful little she sets up a twist in that way by making us wonder whether or not it's gonna to be gale by sort of using the perspective of the character to focus on this one thing. So then we're surprised by this other thing. Okay, let's go on to the next one. Have a read of this and then let's chat about the questions below. Okay, sure. So it's time for the drawing. Like when you do that, it's always like, you know and and and so why not instead of like just saying, she put her hand in the bowl and she took one out, she described like the whole process of her just going into it into like the Boand was like mixing around and taking it out. And she how how like how how she she hopes that her sister is not or her is not chosen because. Because you're noticing every single little detail and it shows that really well. Because why would you care about something of you? Why would you notice like like no down the details of something if you don't care about it? Yeah, it's a good point. You're right. This is a way that she's using the first person perspective is to show how catatness is dwelling on each of these details. And that's building tension. And hopefully that also gives us a very vivid picture of the world as the reader building tension and also, I think, at you know showing that efe doesn't really care about what's happening, you know so what are two sensory details that help show the tension of the reaping? One or two the crowd draws in a collective breath yes Yeah it's a sound, a sort of Yeah a shocking sound Yeah. What's another one? You can hear a pin drop. I'm feeling nauseous. Yeah, great. So imagine imagine if you're standing in the crowd, how would you feel and what might you see? And here in this moment. I think. I think am I just like I think. I think I might just like hear a lot of crowds, kind of like the deep breaths, prayers, things like that, a lot. Oh Yeah, prayers. Nice. Yeah, Yeah, great. Yeah. I don't know whether I'd hear anything. I wonder whether I would be kind of in a tunnel, you know, White noise, kind of Oh Yeah. Like in your own in mind. Yeah, in your own mind. I guess this is the opposite, right? This is catdness. It's also showing what kind of person catdness is. You know she's very observant. She's noticing everything and that's going to be, you know that's useful for she's a hunter, isn't she? So whereas I think I think I'd be in my own head and not really hearing much the sound of the sound of waves maybe. Who these these other two questions there? Easy are they? So what's the phrase? You could hear a pin drop. What's that suggest? You could hear a pdrope that suggests that. Suggests like how how silent it was because like you know like the only time you would hear that is like during a test when someone drops a pen like everyone you would hear that like and that that's just how like silent they are. Like they're all waiting for like who who is being chosen. They're all not excited, like nervous or Yeah government. Great answer. And why is it so shocking who's chosen? Because why is she talking? Oh, because it's her sister Yeah and Yeah and also her sister's really Young, right? She's like twelve. I think when you see, I think when she's described, you know she's she's quite physically fragile. She's not up to the task of being in the Hunger Games. Okay, great. Onto the next bit of text. Yeah have a read and then let me know. So so the author like uses canises like kind of panic how how like how winded she was like from that experience. And she uses her like like now because of that of of just that shock she has been sent like her she's forgot, she's basically forgotten kind of how to breathe in a way of because of all the shock. Yeah great. Yeah and it's Yeah it's interesting that she's using I what this also does, I think is this gives us a deeper sense of the kind of things that come to cat n's mind as a hunter. She thinks of she thinks of hunting. So it's also doing some sort of character development in the meantime. Yeah giving us a deeper sense of cness. What's the tesare? Do you remember what the tesseris taking the test rate? I forgot what was the test? So it's taking a voluntary form of food rationing. If a family was struggling, food people between the age of twelve and 18, those eligible to participate in other games would sign up for a tesary. So you could sign up to sort of rash, be rash, have food wrap, or you know have less food, I think, which I guess makes it less likely. So in exchange for this, Oh no. Okay, so you get extra food. In exchange for the extra food, the person's name would be added to the reaping balls for an additional time for every tessera claimthat year. So katns has taken the tesra to sort of increased the chances of her name being in it. But still, so what is that? What does that being described in this moment show do you think? Where does the writer mention that? How how he precious is his her sister Yeah how he how how how how how much in shock she's in because she spent so much effort and like she probably Yeah she spent so much effort into like you know making sure her sister's name was not in it but it was still in it so she's probably in shock of a of how kind of inevitable was in a way Yeah. I think it's it's it's showing how cruel it is as well, isn't it? It's like of of all the people you've got, this Young girl and catatness has done everything she can to avoid it. And still there, it's such a cruel system that there's no, from the position of catdness and people, there's no sense to it. I think sort of showing how cruel and senseless the system is. I think, let's say, okay, one last block of text. Have a read. And then let's answer the question. Because it shows how much of a shock it is. She doesn't scream or anything. She's just in so much shock. But like. She's in so much shock, she's fast scored. Yeah, I think it shows. It also shows how innocent and vulnerable she is. And it makes the reader feel again, I think this whole, this whole section is designed to make the reader feel angry, right? Well, look how vulnerable that person is. She's not even got, you know, she's not even got her clothes sort of tucked in. She's not her clothes areneven right? She's not ready at all for this, trying to make it as brutal as possible. And so of contrasting how how brutal the system is with how vulnerable the the person is in the system and how right? Like how how like how optimistic Effie is. You know, he's effiy's just there. Like he's he's like he is their happy grinning itself and trying to support like the people, but like everyone else is Goey. Yeah, it's horrifying. It's it's horrithat. That juxtaposition is horrifying. I think, you know, it's designed to be efis sinister, isn't she? She's a sinister figure. All right, there's actually one more, actually one more section shait. It shows how bad of a condition district tourisbecause, they literally have no hope of winning. Yeah that's that's how bad it is. Great. Yeah the lack of hope, how ground down they are and also I think how little they how little they are, how little they think in the same way as the people in the capital or how little they've kind of they take part in the thinking that the capital is trying to put out there, right? Because they don't think it's unable, you know, they're not, they don't they don't subscribe to that thinking. Yeah what's in terms of the word tributes describes being synonymous with corpse. What does this choice of language reveal about the games? It revehow how much of the high districts have the advantage of the local ones because you still have a chance, right? One in 20 like 22 out of 24 but like like one out of twelve but the this distribution just to twelve basically have no hope because they don't prepared are like district one. Yeah four ters of two. So and what does. So you say what does protocol mean and how does that link to the capital's power protocol is. It's it's in protocol like basically where like it's kind of like what you do in in in like a let's say, an emergency event. It can be that's Yeah, no, you're right. It absolutely can be. I think you can use it more widely than that. You can say that a protocol is an official rule or procedure. So I could say, you know what's what's the protocol for our tutorial? You know I could talk about it in that way. It doesn't have to be an emergency. But you're right, I think you do. Often that word is associated with emergencies. That's a good point. Yeah. So how does that link to the capital's power, do you think? Here's how everyone must follow that rule. So it shows how absolutely the power is and how they how they kind of. Oh, everyone has to follow it like no matter what and they know that that they have to follow it in a in a sense. Yeah Yeah great great point. All right, I'm going I'm going to send you this link for a YouTube clip. So if you skip to two minutes in, Yeah, we watched a bit before previously. So if you skipped two minutes in and then have a watch of it, but when you're watching it, so when I'm watching, what happens when you're watching it? Have a look at so note down while you're watching it, what you see like details, site based details, like here on the on the slide, it says, bright clothes of Effie. What you hear, what what you imagine that they might taste? What any details to do with touch and any details to do with smell? So the senses, right? Any details to do with the senses? But at the same time, because I think. Wait 1s, let me even think, is it best to. Yeah Yeah let's okay, so at the same time, I'm going to give you these two tasks at once because that means that you only have to watch the clip once. Okay? So you're noting down anything to do with the sensors that you think of while you're watching it and then I want you to also note down juxtapositions. Okay? So what is the so juxtapositions? The fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effects. Okay? So the example that they've included here is the bright clothes of Effie versus the dull muted colors of the people of district twelve, or I might say also the mud, you know, the mud on the ground and the architecture. So note down anything to do with senses while you're watching and then any juxtapositions that you see. Okay? Okay, great. Thank you. Reliable 45, but it's great value. Welcome, welcome, happy hunger game, and may the arms be ever in your favor. Now before we begin, we have a very special brought to you all the way from the capital. A motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our land. 13 districts rebelled against the country of enshtham loved them. I've seen it right. Cool. And have you had a chance to note down any of the so that sense so basically at is everything was White, black. It felt very grim. If you were there, you would feel like something serious was happening, like a funeral. But then but then you just see f you just think and purple, it it shows how I'm like, she's just so different from the rest of them because she's wearing bright colshe's, happy. And then during the speech, while everyone else was like kind of a bit a bit like kind of, Oh my God, like they didn't even clap, wear anything for the speech. After you go, she I shed some tears. So shows how like different she is from the rest of them. And also when when her sister was selected, kind of no one talked, no one clapped anything. And like it just showed how how bad it was. Like how how have they kind of pitied her in a way because you know you're basically going to like like they were not celebrating or anything. They they were. They just thought that she was going to her own death. Yeah to amount of their minds. Yeah and maybe efy's, the amount that efe talks juxtapose is is is a juxtaposition with that. Her manner is kind of a juxtaposition with that. The crowd Yeah great. Any any other thoughts you has you. No, really, I think that's about it. Yeah, cool. All right, well, let's move on to the next. Okay, so this is so it's time for some creative racing. So you've got to imagine that you're in the crowd of the reaping. We sort of chaabout this a little bit, but you're going to write a description of the scene as you watch the events unfold. So you want to make sure that you include the following in your work. You're writing in first person, so you're writing as if you're there. You've got to include some sensory detail, or you can hear, see, taste, touch and smell. Got to bring in a life for the reader, make it vivid for them, some dialogue. So make sure you use, and make sure you use punctuation accurately when someone's speaking. And then include some dystopian features. So describe the guards who are addressed in White, the stage of bols, the front of the language that's used to share the capital's power. You could you know you could describe how sort of blissful efi is compared to everyone else. You know, she's she thinks of this as it's a part of her utopia. You know, the capitals in the utopia, the capital is a utopia, whereas this scene is taking place in a dystopia, right? So I just really like as a bystander there, Yeah, right. Like you're a bystander seeing what's what's happening, what's unfolding. So you can even you know you can describe cdness walking up to the stage and stuff like that. But I give you, I will give you ten minutes to do that. Is ten is ten minutes? Is that too much or how long do you feel? Ten now, I think I think that's what that's like the right month. Yeah, ten minutes to get them out. Cool. Okay. All right, so I'll give you ten minutes and then I don't know whether you want to, I don't know whether you'll handwrite it or will you write it on your on your computer? Whether you want to Yeah handwrite on my computer because that's simple, easier for me. Yeah and if you could copy it into the chat, then I would be able to read it otherwise. Yeah. So it's it's either that or you reading it out, but Yeah maybe it's easier if you if you drop it in the chat and and then I'll have a read of it. Cool. So ten minutes. Yeah any questions? I'm here. Let me know. 来一首。Are you getting. On Yeah, I think I'm I'm finished. Great. Yeah, Yeah. Can you post it? Post it to me in the chat? Right. Let me just have a read of this. You know, while I have a read, it might be useful for you to have a think about. See, do you remember we were talking about. Possible stories get out. I don't know if you had the chance to ever a think about what kind of dystoping story you might like to write, but Yeah, the end of this, the end of this lesson, the next two lessons they do, I think they place a bit more emphasis on working on a story of your own. So while I read, while I mark your work now, do you want to have a think about just anything? Have a think about what you might want na do for a short story, a dystopian story? Is that? Is that all right? Great. Okay. Yeah, great. I've had a read. That's a lovely bit of writing. Well done. Yeah, I feel like you've used you've used a lot of what we've been talking about. It's very, Yeah, you've got the emotions. The emotions of it are really good. One thing I thought was, Yeah, no, I think you've got you've got some nice dystopian conventions in there. That's good. I wonder whether you could you could have used a few more, a few more of the things that webeen talking about, sort of gesture towards the utopian elements a bit more. Maybe the sensory details at the start really is really good opening that way, sunbeat down on me. Maybe you could have also given a sense that they've they've been there a while, like the guards are making them wait or something. It's great. Yeah. The way that you've imagined the people's thoughts is is is really good, very experiential. I did think so around me, all of them are. So I thought, wait, let me just look at this. Yeah so I thought I felt basically, I think broadly you need to try making your sentences a bit shorter. So whereas so that everyone else dressed in blank colors gathered in the squother, them holding their breaths and Prats not with their families is chosen. That's really nice in terms of it feels like it's in the brain. It's feels like it's part of the experience of being there and it's kind of like a rush a rush of language. So you haven't for you know, you haven't said like everyone else around me, you haven't said all of them are. So that works quite well here. But if you wanted it to be more measured, you would break it up bit and you would say, everyone else around me, you say all of them are. I thought so like your sentence, like when I was about to find from the anticipation, yes, just it's quite a long sentence. I think you could, you could have broken it up into smaller ones. Try breaking your sentences up into stages a little bit more. I think. Yeah, so. Oh, like just like I separate my sentences instead of like packing it all one Yeah, I think so. Aiming for short sentences is always for the best. Our long sentences, we should only have a really long sentence with with really good reason. So a really good example from this would be when you've got held her breath, you could split that sentence in two in the sentence where you've got held her breath or held their breath, sorry, you could put a semicolon in between to sort of split it up into two different clauses, right? Yeah. So I think whilst some of the some of this writing, the kind of rush of information and the amount of information was helpful because it it made me think that you were sort of in the head of someone who's there. Sometimes it felt like it could be clearer if you were splitting your sentences in half, say, or into three. I did also think at times you've chosen really nice details, and your imagery is great. Flaflamingo and a chicken pan is lovely, because then also you think of caged animals. That's really good. I liked the part about pity taking root, because I thought of hope taking root. That was great. So great choice of details. Well, great choice, some great imagery. But I wondered also at times whether you needed, for instance, you probably didn't need to say who fe e was, because if you're in the head of, Oh Yeah, then then dewere orina Yeah but at the same time, it was good that you were trying to think about information that the reader might need. Yeah, that was good. But I felt like I also felt like you tried to squeeze that into a sentence where there's so much happening already. Okay, Yeah. So here's another example. The moment she puts her hand in the bowl, so firstly, probably that should be past tense as well. You sort of slip between the tenses a little bit. I would say either do it present tense like you're in the moment, or do it all past tense. I think probably past tense made more sense here because it gave you nice moments like pity taking root. I think that was good. But like the moment she put her hand in the bowl, it felt as if the entire world held their breath. I'd probably break there. I'd semi olon or I'd full stop there. You could even hear your neighbors heartbeat probably I'd do comma increasing by the second rather than that was okay. Yeah. A little bit. Some of this is just sort of personal preference. But Yeah, and again, I think you might want to this is a way of thinking about writing this section. A way of thinking about writing this section is when is your character recounting something from the past and talking about how they so they're sort of considering it from a distance and when are they in the moment? When are they? When are they like, Oh my goodness, I saw this, I saw this, I saw this. You know it's like, you know, so when are you trying to give the impression of being in the moment with your writing and when are you being more considered and measured? So you might want to think about how you're kind of drawing a distinction between them and a moment like where you describe who efe is. You probably do that talking back about the past rather that it doesn't quite give the sense of someone being in the moment. Do you see what I mean? Like what she did before and stuff? Yeah. So I mean, but great. Yeah some lovely writing in there. I thought it was really good, especially for you know being put on the spot and doing that really suddenly. Before before we end the lesson, I don't know. Are you able to on the app, are you able to download these presentations that I put up thinking my. Presentations Yeah these I don't know but I could take screenshots I did take screenshots but I don't know if I could download it have a look after it and see if you can download them because sometimes it's they have quite a lot of information in them that's hard to like I was gonna na show you these do you want na just if you get photos of these. Okay. So Oh, wait a second, I'm just putting this up. You get a photo of that yeall, right? And then I'm just going to put another few up. There's one there. This is quite a, this is a bit like hard to read in a way. It's it's a bit hard to read. Yeah, it's very small. I think if you've got the photo, if you can zoom in on the photo, I Yeah this one's all right. But like the last one was a bit like, they're quite small, aren't they? Yeah, I apologize. I've put this, just put another one up here and then there's one more after this. Be able to take a photo of this one as well. So itbe. And then there's just there's just one more. So very briefly, if you get a photo of this, well, so very briefly, these are this is just, this is guiding you through how you would build build your story, build just dystopian short story. Yeah. So got that information. Great. I also just really briefly want to say about your piece of writing some of the success criteria that we look for. Pull that up and know we PaaS our time. That's right. So this is the kind of success criteria that we're looking at, which is accurate use of punctuation, full stops, commce, speech Marks, etcec, which can be a little bit tough in creative writing because sometimes we write in a way that's deliberately, sometimes we might miss out a bit of punctuation in order to give the sense of what's happening in the moment. Use your senses to add more detail. Apply dystopiian features to your work. Use ambitious vocabulary choices. Use varied sentence openers I thought you did that. You did that worked very well, such as verb openers and adverb openers. And use descriptive features like simile, metaphor, and personification. And Yeah, you had some great images in there. Cool. Okay. And finally I bought a lesson. Yeah, Yeah, of course. Sorry. We'll we'll chat more about dystopian, about story in the future. All right, I'll see you on Sunday. See. Thanks, professor cbye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.