啊，我老师还没来哎呦。这疼啊，太卡了。三月份。Hello, hello, hello. How are we doing today? Very good. Very good. Super. Carlos, how about you, Evan? Very good too. Super duper. So it's our last lesson together today that's gone quickly, hasn't it? Yeah. Have we got our explanation text with us that we started yesterday? Yes. Already done it. You've already done it. Colors, yes, I am so proud of you. Well done. How about you, Evan? I've done some of it because I don't have so much time. That's okay. But you've done some of it for me so we can have a look at it today. Yeah, brilliant. Well done, evv. And I'm really proud of you too. That's great. Because we do need them for today because today we are looking at editing skills. What is editing? What do we mean by editing? I'm not sure. Have you heard the word before? Yes, you have the Carlos. You're saying no. Yes, you have or you haven't. You have it. Okay. So editing means checking our work and making it better, making changes to it. Okay? So when we edit something, we look at what we've written and we see what's good, maybe what's not so good and what we can change to make it even better. Okay? So that's called editing. Editing is another word for changing. Okay? So we're going to look at what we've written today and we're going to make it better. We're going to make some changes to make it even better. Okay? So our aim today colors, what do we want to do today? Can you read our aim for me? When is it my writing? I can and give on. Well done. So we've got tricky word there. You that well off evaluate, look at what is good, look at what could be better, and then tell our friends, our peers, what we think we could change to make something better. Okay? So evaluate, look at what is good, look at what could be better. That's what we're going to do today. And that will help us to edit our own writing, to change our own writing. So to be successful in this, Evan, what are we going to do? What do I need to see today? I can promy, right? Proofread. Well, then, stop there, Evan. I can proofread my writing for errors. That means you look through your writing and you see if there are any spelling errors that need to be corrected. You can prooread your writing. That means you can check your writing to see if you've included title. Maybe. Okay, proofread ad is looking through like you are the teacher. You are going to be the teacher of your own writing today, so you're going to look through it and you're going to see what you did and what maybe needs to be changed. Okay, that's part of editing our writing. Well done, Evan. Carry on for me. What else do I need to see? I can use a checklist to check my friend's work. Well done. Next one. I can suggest ideas for improving my friends work. Well done. On the last one, I can make the just changes, do my own work. Well done. I can make suggested changes to my own work. So we're gonna look at each other's work today. We're gonna to look at another example together. And we're going to use a checklist, a list of things, and tick off what we have done or what needs to be changed. And then you're going to look at your own writing and think, okay, jade and my friend said that this should be better. This is what I can do. This is what I'm gonna to change in my writing. And then you're going to go back and change that in your writing today. So lovely reading there, both of you. Well done. Proof reading skills. Then proofreading is a very important skill. Okay? It's helpful to be able to spot spelling and punctuation errors and correct them. So remember, it's a bit like being a teacher. We're going to look back through our work and we're going to see, Oh, did I spell that word right? Did I put a capital letter for the title? Did I use a capital letter at the start of a sentence? Where are the full stops? Are they in the right spaces? Okay, that's what we're going to be doing today. And to start off, we're going to have a little test together. Can you, in this challenge, Carlos and Evan find the eight. There are eight mistakes in this introductory paragraph. Now, introductory paragraph is just another way of saying introduction. Now remember, after the title, in an explanation text, we have an introduction. And what does the introduction tell us? Seven. Well, the fish and chip machine works, so it tells us how something works, okay? It gives us a little insight into what we are reading about what it's going to be. Okay, so Carlos, how does the fish and chip machine work? We have another student with us. Shna you there? Oh, he's Sean was here and then Sean left. Was Sean here for lesson one, 23 before? Yes, yes. But okay, the on lesson here, he only did have over. Okay. Have I got Shan with me? Is that now? Hello. Hello. Have I got shn with me? Yes, hello, is it Sean? It's lovely to meet you, Sean. How are you today? You're good, shn. Did you see the other lessons that I had with Evan and Carlos? No, you didn't. Okay. So my name's jade and I took lessons 45. And this is your last lesson today. This is lesson six. And what we've done today is we're actually looking at what we've already written. Okay? So this might be a little bit of a tricky lesson today because Evan and Carlos have have already written or started to write an explanation text. But you can definitely join in and you can help me to be the teacher today, because we are looking at how we can edit our work. And it might give you some ideas shn for your own writing as well. Carlos, you've got your hand up. You're on mute though, so you'll have to put yourself off mute. Did you want to ask me something? Who's Kevin Smith? Tell me again, who is Kevin Smith? I'm not sure who Kevin Smith is. Where have you seen that name? On this paragraph. Oh, okay, that's very good, good looking colors. So you've already started reading. I can see that we'll talk about Kevin Smith in a moment. I was thinking there was another student in the room that I couldn't see. I panicked for a moment. Then shal, you've got your hand up. You're also on mute. Okay, I didn't I didn't handle you. Didn't have your or was it an accident? Okay, carloston Evan, before we start, can you just explain to shn what we've been doing over the last two days so that he knows who wants to tell shn? Carlos, do you want to start? What have we been doing? Delicious meal for tipyeah. Okay, so let's take it in turn. So Carlos is saying, shn, that we were designing a delicious meal for Tim peak. And Carlos, who is Tim peak? An astronaut from British in space. Well done, a British astronaut who went up into space. And we were designing, Shan, our own meal to be made for Tim pek whilst he's in space. Now, Carlos, what did you choose to make? Pia pizza? And Evan, what did you choose to make? Lasaglasagna? Now we were 't just thinking about the meals that we wanted to make. What else did we do? Evan, we try. We wrote a introduction text. So we did write an explanation text, didn't we, about this? But was it about the meal or was it about something else? Seven, how do you make it? How to make it? So, shn, we had to design a meal making machine to make pizza and make lasagna in space. Okay. So what the boys have been doing in the last two lessons is using a format to construct their work of an explanation text about how to make this machine. So we looked at a title, we looked at an introduction, and we looked at an explanation. We didn't quite get onto the summary, but Carlos and Evan were set that as a homework task. Okay, so why was this a bit tricky? Evan and Carlos, what did we have to think about, about making a meal in space? It might blow away that it might flow to wapalup. Go on, Evan. Why might it flow away? Float away, spirgravity, because there's no gravity. So, shn, we had to use our imaginations and think, hmm, how am I going to create a machine to make a delicious meal in space? Okay, so we'll have a look at what we did later. But shn, what would you choose to make? What meal would you miss if you were in space? Do you think if you could make anything. Evan said lasagna. Carla said pizza. I think I would miss pizza and chocolate. But chocolate's not really a meal, is it? What do you think you would like to make? Shn, there's a meal in space. Make fry, make fries. Okay, make fries. Now that's an interesting one because we looked at how to make fish and chips of fish and fries the other day. And it's quite tricky because you need hot oil. Shan, now what would be the problem with using hot oil in space, do you think? It's it's gonna flow at just like water. It's gonna float just like water. We're going to have hot bubbles of oil everywhere that wouldn't be very safe. So wehave to create a machine that keeps it all contained and locked down. Okay, so that's what we've been looking at. And today, shn, we are going to look at editing how we make our work better by proofreading, by being the teacher and looking for mistakes in our work. Maybe that's capital letters or full stops or spelling mistakes. And just as you joined, Shan, I was telling Carlos and Evan that we've got eight mistakes to find in this example. Now, this is an example of an introduction when we tell the reader what we're going to be explaining in our explanation text. Now, this is called how does the fish and chip machine work? Carlos, could you read it to me? Chip machine, the fish chip machine was was designed by Kevin Smith in a competition to assign a meal for ten pito eat in space. Kevin Kevin brought these British classes. This British classic would be a real treat for him. Immediately he said about working on it. The machine will be used for a one of special meal for ten. Lovely reading. Well done. So there are eight mistakes. There are spelling mistakes. There are full stop mistakes. There are capital letter mistakes. So does anybody think that they can find a mistake in there? On the first line, there are three mistakes. Oh Sean, what do you think the chip is? Capital letter. So yes, I'm wondering if they've done that because it's in the title fish and chip machine. But usually, yes, we would wouldn't have these as capitals, would we? We would just have fish and chip machine. But maybe because it's a title and that's what they're talking about, maybe they've made it in capitals for that reason. But you're right, usually that wouldn't be in capitals, Evan. What do you think? Yes, capital s. Why do we need a capital s? It is a name. It is the name of Kevin. Yes, absolutely. Oh, Carlos, well done. You've spotted another one. M for meal should not be in a capital. Good. What if I told you that design and design was spelt like this? Can you spot any other errors I've given you all the pen design. Design is one. It's British, British classic, classic be capitalized. Classic, classic shouldn't be capitalized. No, well done, Sean. Let's read it through again. The fish and chip machine was designed by king Smith in a competition to design a meal for Tim Piek to eat in space. Kevin thought this British classic would be a real treat for the Tim. Where should a full stop be here in these two? Where should the full stop be? Have a look at it again. The fish. See if you can spot where I breathe, where I break. The fish and chip machine was designed by Kevin Smith in a competition to design a meal for Tim peeak to eat in space. Kevin thought this British. Well done, Carlos. Yeah, exactly. I took a break there, didn't I? I think this should be a comma somewhere, just to take a little pause as well. The fishing chip machine was designed by Kevin Smith in a competition to design a meal for Tim pte to eat in space. Where did I take a little breath? The fishermanship p machine was designed by Kevin Smith in a competition to design a medal for Tim peak to eat in space. Where did I take a little breath? I know. How can I draw? I cannot draw. Evan, you're on, you're on the eraser. You need to choose a pen. So we've got this one and this one. We've got this one and this one. Shan, leave my brackets alone. Good. Evan. Yes, absolutely. We take a little break here. We take a little break here. Okay? And we're going to have a full stop here. Having thought this British classic would be a real treat for Tim, immediately he sets about working on it, the machine will be used for a one off special meal for Tim. Now there's one more spelling mistake in there. Can you find it? A note. I'm still buding buding. Your media ate why? Two? Competition, competition, competition. What can you hear? Competition. It is e. It's an e. Yes, it is an e. Well done for finding that. And Evan for reccircling it as well. Good job. Let's have a look then and see if we missed anything. Gonna to take those pens back one, two, three. And let's have a look what cards you just got me then. Oh, what did we miss? We forgot to look at the title. What did we miss? How does the fish and chip machine work? What's the Eroh? Let's see. Let's go back to it and just check. That was sneaky, wasn't it? We looked to the introduction, but we didn't look at the title. Can you see it's missing here? We miss that one. Okay, so it is keeping the capital letters there because that is the name of the title. So that's okay, but you are right. Shn, sometimes we wouldn't have those as capitals. Okay. So it really depends on the writer there. So we've got designed. You were right, Evan. We needed a capital s for Smith. E is in competition. Competition design needs A G. Oh, meal was capitalized. Carlos, I think you spotted that for tiping. We did need a full stop. Now I would put a comma here. Okay, they haven't, but I would just to take a breath. They have got a comma. Always we miss this one. So immediately after that adverb, we needed a comma. Okay, so this is where we need to be checking really carefully, because even teachers miss things sometimes. And we can proofread and edit again and again. It doesn't stop after one time. Every time we edit, we can go back to the work. Every time we make a change, we can go back and check to see if we've missed anything. So there were eight here, and we spotted, didn't we? One, two, three, four, five, six. We added a seventh that was also designed again. So we only missed the comment in the question mark, I think so. I think we did pretty well. Carlos, Evan and shn, what we're going to do now is proofread your writing. Okay, proofread your writing. So, Carlos, you've got your writing there, haven't you? Brilliant. That is fantastic. Evan, can you show me yours and what you've written so far? Doesn't matter if you haven't finished it. Have you got it with you to show me? Yeah, but I don't know. Oh, it is on the other paper in I forgot that word I put is I'll go and check. Okay, go and have a look and see if you got it. What I want you to do is I'm going to give you a little bit of time to proooad your writing. Okay? So that means I want you to look at any spelling or any punctuation errors you can see. If you're not sure, you can definitely ask me now whilst we're waiting, Carlos Shannon hasn't done this. So would you mind reading yours for me? I don't know. I remember of my book. A table. Okay, so do not worry, do not worry. Evan and Shannon going to get you two to do something different in a moment. But Carlos is just going to read his to us because he's already finished. So Carlos, would you mind reading yours to us from the star with your title? Okay, brilliant. Let's have a listen. How to make pizza in space tipeak lives tipeak lives in space, so he needs a very special meal machine to enjoy eating his delicious meals. Our meal machine is designed, designed, designed to make delicious pizza without the need of the need for gravity. How does the machine work first? When it is at 7:00, the machine will start making the bottom of the pizza. Next pizza will add will add some delicious tomato juice on the pizza, then the then put, then then it will put tomato slices, bacon and sprksome cheese on top until the will, until the pizza got in the oven. The piece got oven yes, and the piece Yeah, until the pizza got in the oven automatically. As a result, the pizza will have A, I have a pizza box and and a clowill pick it up to the exit for the, for the robot to Carry to ten pig to eat. Wow, fantastic colors. And do you have a summary at all? Yeah. Yeah. What's your summary? A temhad, an amazing pizza making machine. The machine is in four easy steps. Want the bottom of the pizza to add add tomato juice, tomato, sliced bacon and cheese. Three, three into the oven. 4:00, picks the pizza out to the exit and the robot carries ten. Pek, okay, fantastic. So you've sort of repeated yourself a little bit there, so you could change that later on when we edit and just make it even more of a summary. Tim peak enjoyed a beautiful pizza in space. Okay, this this pizza machine is so easy to use. It can be used in four easy steps and then you don't even need to explain those steps again. But Carlos, I am really proud of you. So what I want you to do now is just have a little look at any capital letters and full stops that you might have missed and any spellings that you're unsure of. You can talk to me about it, but I'm really proud of you. High five, that was a brilliant effort. Good job. Evelyn shn, what I want you to do is I want you to work on the plan that we did yesterday and maybe you could try and put something together for us to have a look at. Okay, so Evan, I've actually got your work on screen, haven't I? Already that we had a look at yesterday. So this was the example that we used and this was your plan that we started to put together. Okay, so you can work from this. Evan shn, have you got some paper with you or have you got this sheet in your book? Have you got the booklet with you? You haven't got used the pen yet. I kind of let use the so Sean, have you got some paper and a pen with you? I'm just going to go grab it. That would be fantastic. Carlos, if you want any help with spellings, just let me know. But have a look. Maybe choose a different color pen and be the teacher of your own work. Look back through it. What can be better? Have we got full sthave? We got question Marks in the title? Have we got capital letters where they need to be? Just going to spend maybe five minutes have a look at that whilst Evan finishes the work he did yesterday and whilst shn writes a little bit of a title and an introduction. Is that okay, boys? Are we happy with that? Yep, super. 写了点，但是那个在老师那群。How are we doing, Sean? Good. Okay. So Shan, you told me that you think you would like to write about fries. Do you think you would like to make fries for Kim Peek in space? So what should your title be, Shan? Do you think if Carlos is is, how do you make pizza in space, and Evans is, how do you make a lasagna in space? What title do you think you should have? Carlos, I'm coming to you in just a second shannyou're on mute, sweetheart, so I can't be hear you. Alice, you. Can tell me. How do you spautomatically automatically brilliant automatic ally like this word here, so I make it a bit bigger. Can you see it at the bottom? You are. Welcome, shn, what do we think your title should be then? A title is always a question in an explanation text, because we're going to answer the question in our writing. So if Evans is, how do you make a lasagna in space? And Carlos uses is, how do you make a piece zzin space? What do you think yours should be? How to make, how to make fries in space? Good. So on your piece of paper I would like you to write, I'm just gonna move this up Evan. Hopefully you can still write there. I'm just going to write down here. So your title shn is going to be how to make fresh priin space. Okay, or how do you how do you transbetter we talked about this yesterday, how do you make fresh fries in space? Okay, so that will be your title. And then we're going to have an introduction. Now we looked at writing the introduction yesterday. Shn, and if I go back up a little bit, you can see Evans says here, have you ever wanted to make lasagna in space? Have you ever wondered if this is possible? We'll wait no longer. Our amazing pizza machine making machine can automatically make the greatest pizzas in space without the need for gravity, because it is automatic. It is connected to your thoughts when you want to eat lasagna, it makes it okay. We also have another introduction that I gave an example over here. Shn, welcome back, Evan. Tim peak lives in space, so he needs a special machine to enjoy eating delicious meals. Our meal making machine is designed to work without gravity. Okay? And Carlos added, our meal machine is designed to make delicious pizza without the need for gravity. Okay? So I want you to use those examples. Shn, welcome back, Carlos. And think about how we can introduce our fry making machine so you could start, Shan, with Tim pek. Is currently in space, so he needs a special meal making machine to enjoy. What what's he going to enjoy? Sean? Enjoy eating what? Can you give me an adjective for those fries? A describing word for those fries? Fresh, enjoy fresh delicious fries. Okay, our machine, see if you can finish that sentence. Shan Carlos, tell me. I can so no mistakes. No capletter mistakes. Fantastic. So Carlos, last ever let me give you the colors I want you to think about just changing your summary slightly. Okay? Don't repeat the steps. See if there's anything you can make better on your summary. So you're just saying this is a machine, this is what what it does. This is why it's brilliant. Okay? Keep it short. So instead of saying in number one, is this number two, is this number three, is this number four? You could just say something like, this machine is fantastic because tipe can enjoy a meal in four easy steps. I wonder which meal hemake next? Okay, maybe you could finish with a question to get the reader thinking, okay, so don't I don't want you to go over the four steps again. I just want you to make it shorter for me a little bit. Could you think you can do that? Brilliant heaven, do you need any help? Nope, nookay, seaon, how are you getting on? Okay, you're doing really well, though, Evan. Keep going. Shan, what have we got so far? I'm just riding you on it, okay? So when you get to our machine, I want you to tell tell me what your machine does, okay? So your title, how do you make fresh fries in space? Introduction, Tim pek is currently in space, so he needs a special meal making machine to enjoy fresh delicious fries. Our machine makes the best fries in only ten minutes. You don't even need any gravity, okay, something like that, something short and sweet just to say what your machine does. But I think you can be more creative than me, so I'm gonna to let you finish that sentence, okay? I'm gonna to give you all a couple more minutes. We keep losing Evan to his WiFi, don't we? Welcome back, Evan. I don't know why I didn't click anything and yet is gone, I think is your WiFi, sweetheart. It's come up with a red a red line in your WiFi box. So it might be the WiFi, but keep going for me as long as you can. You're doing really well. So Evan, when we're editing this later, I can already see that we need a full stop in a capital letter somewhere. So that's something for you to check later on. Okay. Welcome back, Carla. Where are you going? Just perand just go out. That's okay. Me too. Maybe clait is chucking students out the lesson. Maybe there's a fain the machine miss talking. Are you talking about the mistake? Is the yes, absolutely. So I want A, I want a full stop here. Last time, last time I didn't finish the machine. I didn't finish the so I will continue here. Think, I think we need a full stop here first, I think needs to be your first step with a full stop. And then I think this one needs to be the next sentence. Okay. But I see what you were saying, Evan. Carlos, tell me. I've done the last, I ever raised the first steps and I put water I will make next. Kes, Oh, can you read me your new summary then, Carlos? What have we got instead? I raised the steps and I put, and I put, what will I make next in space for ten? Oh, so have we got rid of everything? And we've just got that question. Yes. Okay. I liked what you had first, though. Read me what you had previously. Carlos, let's keep some of it. I didn't get rid of, I didn't erase the first stuff, but I did put put a new sentence. What I try, I told you. Okay, so read me in full of what you've got now in that summary. What's your new summary? Temkeamazing piece are making machine without the wait. Tempikedo, amazing. Making pare, making machine. The machine is in four easy steps. I wonder what I will make make next in space for a ten. Que, Oh, caras, that is a brilliant summary. I really like that. Well done. Super. That's much better. And have you checked for capital letters and full stops and any spellings you're not sure of? Carlos? Yeah. Oh, cudoki, we'll just give Evan and shn a couple more minutes then, and then we'll move on. So shn, where are you up to now? Come on, if Carlos has finished his and Evans written the paragraph that he has, I'm sure that you can do that too. So how do you make fresh fries in space? Tim pek is currently in space, so he needs a special meal making machine to enjoy fresh, delicious fries. Our machine. Carlos, do you think you could help Shan, what steps might Shan need for making delicious French fries? What steps do you think you might need? Psome oil and in the open the fire psome or oil and put and chop up potatoes, and then put it in and let, as a result, put it in the, put it in the frying pan. Put it into the frying puntil it until it's the until it's done claw pick it up and and use and and the float to to tipek and it will float to tipek. I like that. I wonder could you give shn, could you write down some time connectives that he could use as fronted adverbals to start off his explanation? So maybe first could you maybe give him four or five words to start with? Both next, then until as a result. Next, then until as a result. Okay. And we need commas after these. Make sure you've got commas in yours as well. Shcarlos, they are great. Well done. Good. Shn, how are we doing? Where are we? Sean. Can you read yours to me? What have we got so far? Welcome back, Evan. Yes can you tell me what you've written so far? I'm on our machine. Okay, let's go. I'm going to give you one more minute. I'm just going to move your work down a little bit, Evans, so I can see what you've got. Carlos, can you have a look at Evans work and just see if you can spot any spelling errors or any full stops or capital letters or commas that need to go anywhere? You can be the teacher for Evan at the moment. So this is his work here. Move it there. Shanne I'm going to put your work in White so we can differentiate it, make sure we can spot Evan's work. Evan keeps disappearing on us today. Welcome to keep coming back. Kven d is broken. Oh no, broken. You're working really hard, Evan, so don't worry. As long as you keep coming back, that's the main thing. So Carlos is going to edit your work whilst you're writing. Evan, Oh, the the box next to Pathe pastsheet. So Carlos, you could maybe use a pen in White, absolutely, to see if there's any changes that Evan can make. I know he's still writing, but this is just helping us to see how we edit. What do we think we need there, Carlos? A comma. Yeah, I would agree. Yep. So after as a result, after as a result, so we rub that out so that Evan can see as a result of comma. Well done. Good teaching, good checking. Shan, are we nearly there? Our machine? Can you finish that sentence for me? Yes. What could we write? Shn, if you tell me, I can write it on the screen. You finish typing evidence. Okay, the the first paragraph, that's okay. So have a look at that Evan with Carlos and see we could make those changes. Okay, I don't want you to write any more so well, I want you to add some more because Evan Evan because of the time, I just want you to concentrate on editing what you've already written. And okay, so you've written a good couple of steps there. What I want you to do now is just see if you can edit that with Carlos. Okay, whst, I ask sham what he can write for to finish his introduction, and then we're going to move on to editing something else together. Okay? So we work with Carlos now to just see how you can make that better. Okay? I think this is too much here, so maybe we could have a full stop and another sentence somewhere you talk to Carlos about that. Shn, I want you to finish my sentence so I can write it here. I think it's kind of okay. What do you think, Carlos? Yeah, pretty much okay. More if we go back here, then the pastor sheets will go on a convey about. I think that needs to be a full stop. Okay, there is a box next to the conveyor belt. What needs to go in here? Does that make sense? There is a box next to the conveyor bell, the pasta cheets. What word needs to go in here? On, on again, on, on. Next. Next. There is a box next to the conveyor belt with the pasta sheets or holding the pasta sheets. What do we think? Holding, holding, holding. Okay. So we could have the word holding. We could have the word holding. Holding the pastor sheets. So we go back into it. Yes, can you fix it, Evan? Hey. Holding the pasta sheets. Okay, Shanna, you there? Okay, that's got his hand up. Shan, what have you done to finish my sentence? Our machine does what? What does your machine make? Rice, our machine makes the best fries. Using what? Using what? Oils and potatoes using oils and potatoes to do what? Make a fresh. To make the fresh. Fries to make easy fresh fries without the need for what don't we have in space? What do you don't, Alice? I can see that you've you've highlighted best there. Why have you put best in lowercase? That's pretty weird. So why do you think I might have put best in capital letters? Cause means like very best. Like you want to I want to show. I want is it's do you remember yesterday we talked about presenfeatures? So I might want to use a presentation feature here and put best. You're right, grammatically, it's not correct. It's in capital letters, and it shouldn't be. However, presentationally, I want to show the reader that, wow, focus on this word. They are the best fries. They're not just fries. They are the best fries. Okay, so we could put whose put one? Is it finished? Evan when is what finished? What I'm I didn't say anything be written when is it finished? Oh I'm gonna say when the book when it is finished loading with pasta and the sauce it is going to go on the conveyor belt and the oven okay that's part writing good okay so so colreally good question there so that is why best in capital letters not because it's wrong but because I want to stand out. Okay, so make easy fresh French fries without the need for Shan. What do I not have in space? What you I don't have. I don't have Carlos gravity. I don't have gravity without the need for gravity. Okay. Shn, read me the introduction that we've written on here. How could that type? Let me give you the pen. You've got the pen. You can type with the t, the t. So look for the t down the right side. The t allows you to type. It's closed ors. And then it turn the colors in space. So he needs a special meal making machine to enjoy fresh delicious fries. Our machine make the best fries using oil, oils and potatoes, fresh fries without the need for gratea. Okay, so Sean, you made a good start there on your title and your introduction. We just need to speed up a little bit so that we're making the most of the lesson. Okay, right. I'm going to stop you there, boys. Evan, I can see that you're working really hard to type your explanation text, and I'm really pleased with that. Carlos and Evan, I'm really proud of how you've worked together there to edit Evans work. And Carlos, how you've proofread your own work. That shows really good initiative. So I'm really proud of you both there for working hard. Whilst I've been talking to shn, we are going to stop there because I want to go back and I want you to have a go at using a checklist, okay, to edit the fish and chip meal together so that you know what we're talking about when we're using a checklist, okay? So we've got if we go back to here, this is the fish shing chip machine. Remember we looked at making a fish and chip machine. So we are going to look back at this example. You have this paper. Good. So we've got a checklist to say did the writer so you're going to be teachers now. Shan, Evan and Carlos. Well done, Carlos. You're really ready for today's lesson. It's brilliant. So we're gonna to read it together and then we're gonna to decide if the writer did the following things. Okay, so let's have a look. Introduction. Carlos, can you read the introduction for me? The fishing chip machine was designed by chemistry live in the competition to design a meal for two pig into each inch space. Kon bought this British British classic to be would be a real treat for tomimmediately immediately he said he said about working on it the machine will used for a one off special meal for well done. Beautiful reading their heaven. The workings inside the machine. Oh careful, careful let me take those pens away for now. The workings inside the machine can you read because you're gonna to split it with shn can you read up to here for me? Okay, the working side the machine, the machine is start by thinking a switch on the outside brain. When the switch is thiningy shots out and releases a net for fish. Then they fall into the fire where they being cook a system of dogs, it's trigger once the and these clogs turn several sharblades which slice the potato into the perfect 2.3 in centimeters ter width width. When the potatoes are chopped, they travel along a conveyor belwhich leads them to the cooking chamber for the chips. The chips fall off the conveyor belt, and as a result, the timer is triggered. Well done. Trick. It means started. Okay, lovely reading there. Well done. Shan, can you you Carry down for me what happens next? This begins to count down the perfect time for the chips to cook. When the timer is finished, the chips are amount ced automatically, so they start without any need for any help. Automatically be removed from the cooking chamber. Good by a hydraulic, that's a water lalevel and electric salt. An electric claw retrieves, picks up, retrieves the fish from the, both the fish and chips are placed on a sheet of newspaper by the the meat leaves the machine via a conveyor Bela belt that moves the food along. Good and a zzer. Good is good. You own alto. Tell him that his meal is ready. Well done. You read a lot of technical language there. Shn, so if we go to our did the writer, you are going to decide. I need you to be the teacher now. Shn, did the writer use a question as a title? Let's go back. Did the writer use a question as a title, yes or no? Yes. So Sean, you are going to put a tick in that box. Put a tick in this box for me. Yes, he did. But. You for me like this, will it let you do that? Yeah, Yeah. Okay, Evan, whilst we're waiting, did the writer write an introduction introducing their machine? Yes. Let's have a look. Where did he write it? He rithem working inside the machine. No, introduction, introduction, introduction is here. He did write an introduction. So Shannon's got a cool thumbs up there. Could you put a tick in the next box for me? Evans, Oh, okay. So write an introduction. Carlos, this is a tricky one. Did he use causal conjunctions and adverbials? Oh, cars, you need to change the color. If we go hanquite. Okay. So Carlos, have a look here. Does it say because well, as a result. Or consequently, can you find any causal. With the okay. Well done, Evan. Thank you. So does it sit as a result anywhere, Carlos? Does it show cause and effects that this happens because of this? Have a look. Which leads to which causes. Have a look. Let's go back. Take these pens away. So what about this one here, which leads to as a result, yes, yes, yes. So Carlos, we need causal conjunctions and adverbs, and we have a tick. Are we all using emojis here as just this is what's taking our time. What is email ji, you're all choosing. Yes. Well done, Carlos. Thank you. Good. Okay. So this is called editing. Our work use technical language. Shan, were any technical sciwords in our explanation that we've just read? Yes, yes. What? Shan, can you give me an example? Can you find me one? Any words that are a bit scior, a bit technical? Clock clock Clock Electric clock colors yei can't use the pevan. Can you find one triggered? Yes, I like that one. Good. So what we convey about yes boys automatically yes we are need great teachers here you are editing the work we well I'm really proud of you so yes, we have some technical language. Good, Shan well done Evan your turn out time conjunctions to order the event. Do we have any time conjunctions first then next, finally second. I think there is over it is we're going stop there. Evans, just gonna to tell me if we think there's any time conjunctions, does it look like what we've practiced first, then next, finally, Oh, no, finish. No, no, not finish. No, there are not any, there are not any boys. So this would be a target for this writer. Okay, they need to work on time conjunctions. Okay, Carlos, to finish, did you see any diagrams or pictures? Did you see any pictures? Nope. Nope. So that would also be a no Carlos, which would be something else for this person to work on. So today, we have carried on with our writing and tried to develop our writing using proof reading and editing skills. If we use a checklist like this in our writing, we can see exactly what we have done and what we haven't done and how we can make our writing better. Now, if you want to, boys, you can finish those explanation Tex for me, and you could send them to me in the chat if you wanted to. If you want to take a picture of your work, I will mark it for you and I will edit it for you and give you some feedback. Don't feel that you have to, but you can use me if you want to. Okay? It's been my absolute pleasure to teach you for these last three lessons, and I hope that you've had as much fun as I have. Okay, I'm going to let you go now, but please practice your editing, practice your proofreading, and have a go at writing another explanation text in the future so that you don't lose that fantastic knowledge. Look at this mess we're creating on the screen. Well done, Carlos and Evan and shn. It's been a pleasure meeting you. Keep up the great work, and hopefully I'll see you for another lesson soon. Okay, thank you for coming to my lessons. Bye, shn by Evan, by Carlos. You can keep drawing. Let me try. 啊。啊，完了去吃。妈妈在等你快。