0103 PL Writing SC G1

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上哪上喝口水,喝口水一会儿憋在那啥摄像头。Hi, Evan. Hi, how are you today? You're good. Where are you? You look like you're somewhere fun. Young, my my mom put me and my brothers to a musement park and I need to do a class. So I went to a kind of quiet place. You need to you need to find somewhere quiet. Can you hear me? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But well, I'm not sure where the other two are. Hopefully they will come online in the meantime, ever. We will get started. Okay, okay. Evan, can you tell me what did we do yesterday? Can you remember? We did. We designed the machine for Kim. What? What? Tim, Tim, you've got it. Tim pek. Here is, here is Tim pek in space. We need to design a food making. We do. And can you remember what food did you decide that Tim Pete was going to have? Meal? Lasagna. Lasagna. Fantastic. And why? Why did we have to think carefully about the machine? Evan, why did we have to think carefully about information? Right? Because it is in outer space. Maybe you'll just float away. Maybe straight away. Good. Why? Why? Why might it float away then? Because there's no gravity in space. There's no gravity in space. I'm going to show you a video now, ean, you might find this quite funny. Hopefully you can hear it. But this is how they eat in space. I'm going to play it. Hopefully you can hear it, okay? What is that? I think it's weather. All the food Yeah, a bit like a fridge. I think the food actually tastes a little bit more bland up here, so it doesn't taste so strong. And part of that is because we don't smell as well up here with our nose, because our heads are a little bit puffy, or the fluid that's normally kind of in your legs and your feet, it kind of shifts up into your chest, in your head, and that blocks your nose a little bit. So we don't smell food so much. And part of the enjoy enjoyment of eating, you need a smell of the food as much of the taste. Lambled egof them, that doesn't look very appetizing, does it? Doesn't it look very nice? About about five minutes we'll be ready to eat. Slulushy scramble egg in a bag that you can have to heat up in another machine and it's five minutes, you get some kind of bland egg which isn't very tasty, is it? We've got cut this back with a high Carlos. I wait for more. No problem. So yes, we were looking at planning a meal and we were thinking about planning and designing a machine to make Tim pia meal today. Evelly Carus, we are going to be writing up our explanation text. Now this might be a bit tricky, Evan, because I'm guessing you don't have your plan with you, do you? Yeah, I don't have it. Okay, we might have to do it together on screen, but that's okay because you've got a really good imagination and I know that you understand the work that we've been doing really well. So the aim of today's lesson, Evan, can you tell me I can write an I can write an explanation text. Fantastic. And to be successful in that heaven, what do we need to do? What do I need to see today? Use my plan to help me write an effective explanation text. Well done this one. 呃use all of the language features of an explanation text duwhat do,I mean by language features evwhat does language, some chronlike, some chronicle words, or some technique words, or the times of words. Conjunction, absolutely evhigh got. You have got a brilliant memory. Well done. That is excellent. So we need time at verbals. We need time conjunctions. We need words that associate with time being an example of a time conjunction at Evan. No, no, no, no. First, first, first. Absolutely. And that's also in chronological order. You talked about chronological words. So which words go in order of when it happens? So first would be in chronological order and it would be a time conjunction or an adverbial. Good. Technical language. What do we mean by technical language? Like some technical words like automaautomatic. Fantastic. So words that are associated with the thing that we're talking about, okay, quite sciwords words that we wouldn't necessarily find in other forms of writing. Good. I'm really pleased with that. What about causal causal words? What do we mean? Causal words? Because because yes, well done. They show cause and effect, don't they? This happened because or because of this? It happened absolutely. Can you give me another one? Let me. What if I bring this? I don't know how to say that word. I know it. So we've got consequently, we sequthat as a result. I love, Oh Yeah, Yeah, this as a result. How are you today? Pretty good. Good. I'm glad to see colors. We were just thinking about what we've learned so far and what we're going to do in this lesson. So Evan was reminding us that we designed a meal for Tim peak, the astronaut, and we designed a meal making machine, thinking about the complications that being in space might bring. And then we were thinking about what we need for an explanation, text. So if we're explaining something, we need to use language of time. So time adverbials of time conjunctions like first, second, next, then because these show us plan, logical an order as well, and help us to understand the stages involved. So we need chronological order. We're also talking about needing so causal and time conctions and adverbials, so things that show cause and effect that because or consequently or subsequently. Now yesterday, we were thinking a little bit about those language features, and we were also talking talking about the structure of our explanation. So in a title, what do we need in a title, Carlos? So a question, we need a question. Good, why do we need a question? Why is it questionable to tell you, to explain you? How does it work? Well done. Because our explanation text is going tell us how to do it. Good. After we've got the the title with a question, what are we going to have that tells us a little bit about our machine and what it is, what we gonna to have next after our title? Can you remember Carlos or Evan introducgood introduction? What's an introduction? Explain. Yeah it tells us just a little bit. It doesn't give the whole game away. It doesn't tell us everything. It just tells us a little bit about what it is, okay, and why we've got it. So we're going to think more about our introduction today. Then we need our next steps. Now this is all to do with our presentational devices, how it looks, what's included. So we've got our title, we've got our introduction, then we're gonna to have our steps of what to do, to instruct somebody of how to do that thing or how to use that thing, explain how to do that thing. And then what do we have right at the end, which begins with s, which just tells us exactly a so a couple of sentences that just says, this is what it is. This is why we've made it. This is what's going to happen the next like a conclusion. So I was asked success criteria here. Evan, you were reading them beautifully born, can you read the last new Goday? Oh, I can use all the presendevices of an explanation text. Brilliant. Okay, so that's what we're going to do today. We are going to write up our explanation text. So during this lesson, you will be using your plan to write a fantastic explanation text to explain how your machine works. Now, before we do that by ourselves, here are someone's planning notes for an ice cream Sunday machine. Who likes ice cream? You're like, Oh, like ice cream, evi, like ice cream, too. What's your favorite flavor? Carlos got lots of flavflayou, like all of the flavors. What about you, Evan? Vanilla, strawberry, and sometimes pesometimes. Pethat sounds delicious. I don't think I've ever had peach. I scream of then vanilis vanilla and vanilla and strawberry. Next, vanilla, strawberry. That sounds delicious. I like coconut ice cream. Have you ever had coconut ice cream that tastes delicious too? Never. Okay. So here are someone's planning notes for an ice cream Sunday. We're going to use the planning notes, Carlos and Evan. We're going to try and put our own sentence together just so that we can see how using specific notes can help us to fulfill a whole sentence. So we've got step one. Carlos, what does step one say? Turn turn handle on crack turn coconveyor belstwell done so that turning a handle to make the machine work which turns the metal wheels which makes the belt the convey about the we've got some scientific vocabulary there, okay, but I think we can make this sentence even better. We've got notes here, but I want a time conjunction, a causal conjunction and some technical vocabulary. So we could use first, we could use as a result, and then we could use our technical vocabulary. Evan brilliantly described as being like sciency words that are just related to the topic that we're doing. That wouldn't really make sense anywhere else. Okay, so we've got Cox rotate, turn around crankshaft, something to move and initiate me and start. Okay? So you might want to use something else. You might might want to use so I know you both like this word or okay, or you might want to use conveyor belt like we have in our notes here. So if we were thinking about making this these notes into a proper sentence, how could we do that with first? And as a result, and automatic or cogs or rotate, how can we put these words with these notes to make a better sentence? You think you can help me ever on first turn the handle on crank. As a result, the well done. Good. I like that. What could be, and I don't know now I don't know, we can have them next. The conveyor belt starts. 好几啊好几哦啊。Does it start by itself, what's another word for by itself? Automatically. Well done. Wow, Evan, fantastic. I'm really proud of you. That's a great sentence. So first turn handles on crank. As a result, the cogs turn next, or I need a comma. Next, the conveyor about staff automatically. That's a great sentence. Let's have a look at the example. Carlos, could you read me the example in pink, please? First, the handle is turned to stop the crshaas. A result, the clock begin to remote, causing the machine conveyor belmachine conveyor timate moment movement. Well done. Good. We do. So first, the handle is turned to start the crankshaft. As a result, the cogs begin to rotate, causing the machines conveabout to initiate movement. That that's very similar to your example eleven. Well done. Let's look at another one then. Can you turn these notes into an explanation text sentence? So step two, Evan, what's step two? Can you read step two from the conveyor belt takes top to cooling chamber, which causes the ice cream to drop. Well done. So the conveyor belt, that belt that moves, takes the box, the top of ice cream to a cooling chamber, a bit like a fridge or freezer. Then the weight, how heavy it is, causes the ice cream to drop. Okay, we've got time for open we've got a causal conjunction and we've got some technical vocabulary. Let's have a look. We've got Carlos what we got that's until consequently weight activtifacial chamber. Well done. So wait activated Evan I'm just gonna put your mute because the the noise is distracting me a little bit. So weight activated pad. So that's like a pressure pad that when it feels like it's reached a certain weight it might stop the machine. So imagine that the ice cream fills into the tub until the weight that it's supposed to be activates on the pad and the ice cream might stop pouring the into the tub. We've got a pressure chamber, okay, that makes sure that the pressure inside the machine is all working correctly. Okay. So Carlos, your turn this time. How can we turn these notes into a better sentence using our time conjunctions, our causal conjunction, and maybe one or two technical vocabulary? What do you think we could write? The next veyor belt takes the tub to the cooling chamber. Yep, I like that. That's a good first sentence. Consequently consequently it means like as a result, like so because of this, something happens. It's like another way of saying, because so once it's gone to the cooling chamber, what could happen? Consequently, so because because it's in the cooling chamber, what will happen? A weight pad awake active pad sequence so consequaway. Consequently is Yeah what causes that good ice cream to draw good. So because it's brought into the chamber as a result of that, because it feels the weight the ice cream starts to come out causes the ice cream to drop. Okay, what else could we say? Could we have then or after or following this? Could we have something else? Just one last sentence, Carlos. I know that's not in the notes, but maybe we could do something about the weight activated pad. So maybe when it reaches a certain amount of ice cream, the weight activated weight D D and the weight causes the ice cream to drop the weight. Oh, okay. So the weight activated path d causes okay. So we just modifying what we've already got that fine. Absolutely. So could you read me that sentence in full? Carlos, what have you got next door? Convervetakes the to the cooling chamber. Good. Consequently, the weight active that causes us the ice cream to drop. Well done. So it's like because of this, the weight activated pad causes it because it's so heavy on the machine, it knows to bring out that ice cream. Good reading, Carlos. And grape, something. Let's have a look at what we could have written. I think it will be very similar to yours. Carlos, Evan, do you want to do you want to read it for us? Ok. The am is next. The ice cream top travels along the conveyor beluntil it falls until the weight active activback pack consequthe pressure causes the ice cream to be released from a chamber above. Okay, good. So they've changed quite a few aspects of that sentence, but that's okay. Ic, because what we've done is we've taken the notes. We've used the time conjunction, the cause of conjunction and some technical vocabulary. So it doesn't have to be as long as that. Okay, good reading of them. Well done. So using your planning and explanation sheet from last lesson, we're going to try and turn our notes into an explanation text. Now Evan, you had made a lasagna making machine. And Carlos, can you remember what you did? Pizza a pizza bamachine, okay. Now, Carlos, do you have your planning sheet with you? Oh super duper. So you are ready and raring to go. Now Evan unfortunately isn't at home at the moment. Yetell me colors. I didn't take the homework because I don't have time. That's okay. We've got up time in the lesson today. So what we're going to do is develop that plan and develop our explanation today. So it doesn't it doesn't matter, but thank you for being honest. Okay, so we are going to have a look at that today. We're going to remember to use the explanation marking checklist as we do our work to remind us of everything that we need to include all of the features. So did we use a question as a title? Did we write an introduction? Did we use caual conjunctions and time adverbals? Did we use technical language for the topic? Did we use time conjunctions and adverbials to show the order of events? So that chronological order that we were talking about, evat the start, did we include diagrams or illustrations? Now, you both did perfect diagrams of your machines on your plans yesterday. So I know that we've got those use organizational and presentational devices to structure my text. What does that mean? Evan and Carlos? What do I mean by organizational and presentational devices? Do we know what that is? So in our writing, we might write in paragraphs. We might group our sentences together based on the topic that we're writing about. So paragraphs, those sentences grouped together are an organiztional device, but also presentational device, because they look good on the page. We might also include a diagram, which is presentation what it looks like on the page. We might use these, what are these called? When I'm riin steps and I put these by the side. I might put bulpoints bullet points, I might use bullet points, or I might use. What are these? Numbers, numbers. Why might I use numbers? What do numbers help me to do? Numbers have me to read it more carefully. Perhaps maybe they look better on the page because I can follow it. If I'm not sure what to do, I can think, Oh, hang on, it says number one there. That's the first thing. That's a logical step that I need to take. So organiational means, how how have I organized my writing? Okay. Presentational means, what does it look like on the page? Okay. So by using bullet points or using numbers or using pictures or paragraphs or sentences grouped together, that's organizing my writing and that's presenting it in a certain way, I might want to put boxes around my writing. So it's really clear for the reader to see. Okay, so that's what we're going to be thinking about today. I have got an example for you here. Okay, this is an example of what you're going to be doing today, but it's a little bit shorter and not as good as the ones that I want you two to do today. So Carlos, what are we starting with here? How does our mmaking machine help him be inspgood? What feature of an explanation text is this? A title. That title. So we need a title. Good. And we've got a question in our title, haven't we? How does our meal making machine help Tim peek in space? You might want to choose a different title colors. What title did you write down on your plan? Can you remember. How do you make a pia? How do you make a pizza maybe in space? Okay, now you can choose. You might want to have all capitals for your title. How do you make a pizza in space? That is a presenfeature. Okay, you might want to just capitalize the first words. How do you make a pizza in space? Okay, it's up to you what your title looks like. Generally with prepositions there, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have the capitalization of the I or the a there. Okay, but it's up to you what you want your title to look like. Okay? But remember we're starting with a question next we're going to have Evan what we're gonna to have next. Good can you read me this interpreter ten live in space so he needs a special machine to make his meal our meal making machine I cannot machine is designed to work in without gravity without gravity. Good we okay. So our introduction is just a short sentence to introduce your machine okay, you might want to write something like this machine is developed specifically to make him pia wonderful meal in space. It works without gravity and they're super safe and exceptionally well designed. Okay. So very well designed. This machine is developed specifically to make Timm pa wonderful meal in space. It works without gravity and is super safe and exceptionally well designed. Okay, you might want to write something else, okay? You might want to write a wonderful lasagna meal in space. Okay? That is up to you what you're going to do for your introduction. Okay? What comes after the introduction then? Carlos, explanation, good. Can you read the explanation form? Is it big enough? First, the machine holds the food in the, in a container. This is important because food can float away from away in space. Next, the machine heats the food carefully. It uers energy, so the meal becomes warm. The machine makes the food slowly. This helps because the food must stay together. The machine closes and opsafely. This is, this is important. So ten piccan eat the meal easily. Well done. So these are short steps. Okay? You might have a few more steps in that. I think it would be more improved if you use numbers. Numbered steps here. Okay, so you might want to use numbers with yours. What are these examples of? That was really well, red colors. Well done. What are these examples of? First, next, then finally, what are they? What do we call them? Time contions, well done, Carlos. High five. Brilliant. They are time conjunctions. You are going to do time conjunctions in your example. Okay? So you might have numbers and you might have time conjunctions. Okay. What about these words? Because because so contions of injunctions. Well done. Evans, we're going have some causal conjunctions and we might have safely, slowly, carefully, we might have some adverbs in there as well. Okay? So we are going to make sure that we got all of these in our writing time. Conjunctions, adverbs, causal conjunctions. After our explanation, we're going to have a short summary. Evan, read the summary for me. Okay, summary. In summary, our meal making machine helps him pbecause. It works safely in space. It follows clear steps and uses special technology to make a meal. Well done. Lovely reading. So your summary, we click gonna summer pull together what you've written in a short sharp sentence. This could be something like in summary, this pizza making machine is purely one of one of a kind. It delivers yummy delicious hot pieces in record breaking time. Okay, so it it just has to be a short sentence which sums up what you've written okay? What it does and what people need to know okay? It might even end with a question if you wanted it to or an exclaative. Have you tried the ting space admachine? Okay, it might have a question to make reader sync. It might just finish where you want it to finish without having a question at the end. That is absolutely fine. Now to help you with this, I do have another video that I'm going to show you. And this is this is not that spthis is just about writing an explanation text. And then after this video, you are going to have time to write yours. Okay? So be prepared, Evan, you will write yours on the screen. Carlos, I want you to write yours on some paper now in your booklet. You do have on page 32. Do you have your booklet with you, Carlos, or not? Yes, Yeah. On page 32 you have got a format which shows you exactly how to how to write your work. So you could write it on the actual sheet if you wanted to. Evan, you're going to write it on my sheet on a screen because you don't have yours with you. Well done, Carlos. Lovely, beautiful reading both of you. Let's watch this video then just to be really clear about what we are going to do today. So this is how to write an explanation text, not about a machine, just about taking photos. Okay, so it's a different video. Make sure you can hear it. So put your thumbs up for me. Colors so you can hear it. Okay. Hear that? Okay, hello, my name is Chris Packham. My name is fortunate enough. Any fortunate practice, I get to make us animals. The ohere who is, as you can say, very hungry. Beating, aren't you? I can't clearly hear it now when I'm not in front of the camera, behind the camera, I like taking photographs, come up with some nods, mammals, insects, anything that's exciting. And to do that, I do that. Is it just quiet, Carlos? Or is it breaking up? Like it got two sounds and and the louder sounds is very. Yeah try again. One of the modern digital camera. But to be honest with you, they are that better to use. So it's best to read how to before you get started. Now, a how to guide is an example of explanation writing, because it explains how or why something works normally in technical language, sometimes in a series of logical steps or a sequence, often using diagrams or photographs to illustrate this. And it teaches you how to do something, like use a digital camera. Today I've come to a wildlife park to photograph their animals. So I'm going to try and show you how to get a good picture of wildlife. And together we're going to write a how to guide. So the first thing we need to do is come up with a title, something that will capture the imagination of the reader. And it's often good to involve a question I'm going to call mine, how do I photograph amazing animals? Now the next thing you need to do is write an introduction just to paragraph to explain what the guide is going to do. Next, in order to explain this to the reader, we need to write a set of instructions. We're going to write these in a logical sequence so that step by step we can explain how to use a camera. Now I'm gonna to use numbers to make the order clear. So number one, first find yourself a good location somewhere dry with nice light and plenty of wildlife. Then set up. Number two, wait patiently for that wildlife to come out and then be ready to spot it. Number three, finally, when you find something that you want to photograph, zoom in so you can get that nice cloup. Now you will have noticed that all of my sentences have been short and simple, and they've been written in the present tense. They're about what's going on now instead of the past and the future. I've also been using action verbs like find and wait to explain that the reader needs to do something. Then I've been using time linking conjunctions such as first, next, then, and finally, as well as causal linking words like so what? And because to explain why the reader needs to do something in a how to guide, it often helps to have diagrams or illustrations to show the reader what to do or what to look for. So I've included these illustrations of a wolf to show how to frame the animal up before you take the photograph. Now I need to ensure that all the readers of my guide can understand any of the technical words that I've used, things like frame the shot, close up, or focus. So to do this, I'm going to explain them in simple terms in a glossary at the back. And a glossary is no more than a list of words in alphabetical order with simple explanations alongside them. Lastly, I need to write a short conclusion, just a paragraph explaining the guide in summary, perhaps with a little bit more information for the readers. The words I might use are things like to conclude or in summary, and I might put a link to a website in with more information about wildlife photography. Well, now that I've explained how to take a really good wildlife photograph, I've switched my lens and it's time to get cracking with some really super animals. Brilliant. So hopefully that gives you a little more confidence in knowing what to write. Okay, so what we're going to do now is I'm going to give you time, maybe 15 minutes to see what we can get down for your explanation text. So Evan, I'm going to give you the pen to be able to write on the page. You can move it up and down. Carlos, I would like you to write yours on your paper for me. Okay, if we go back to the screen, there will be opportunities to have a look back to make sure we're using some of this technical vocabulary. Carus, you wrote this on your plan. So you've got some there, causal conjunctions, time conjunctions, maybe we have some adverbs in there as well. Quickly, quietly, slowly, carefully. So lwords, we might want to include in there as well. So you can have a look at these. You can switch back to the example. If you want me to put the example back up, I can. Okay, I'm going to put a timer. We'll go for ten minutes to start with and just see where that takes us. And then I can have a look at your work with you. Okay? And if you need any help, just ask, is that sound okay with you? Evbyn and Carlos? Okay. Yeah. Okay. So think about your title, elen. What do you want to include on your title? What's your title going to be? What's your question going to be if you're on mute? I can't hear you. You're a mew, Evan. Have you got the option to type? I can help you if you want to type heaven rather than write. I can't hear you. Evan, you're neat. Let's put your writing into a different color. Let's put it in red there. We go lasagnne lasagna. It's a bit funny, isn't it? The funny word, Carlos, how are we getting on? We got a pen. How we got a sheet. Yeah, good. So your title, you're going to write up on your sheet. Remember, we can have it all in capitals. We can have we need the first word capitalized, definitely. But it's up to you if you want to have it all in capitals or not, or just certain words in capitals. And what do we need at the end of a question? Question mark. Question mark. Carlos, absolutely. So Evans does how to make a lasagna. You might want to have how to make a lasagna in space. Or just how to make a lasagna, whichever you would prefer to. Carlos, yours is going to be similar. But how to make a pizza in space, perhaps? I would put, how do you make how do you make a lasagna in space? I think that sounds a little bit better. Good. Well done, Evan. So Evan's got his title. How are you getting on with your title, Carlos? I'm almost done. Fantastic. So your introduction is going to be a couple of sentences about what you're going to write about. Okay, you might want to include another question. Have you ever considered how to make a meal in space? Look no further. The lasagna making machine can do exactly that. Okay. If we go back to the example, Evan, I'm just going to go back to the example we had here. Tim peak lives in space, so he needs a special machine to make his meals. Our meal making machine is designed to work without gravity. Or tell me again, colors. And I use this introduction. You can use that introduction. I'm just wondering how Evan's going to do that with his. Just let me see if I can make it a little bit smaller so that you can both be working on the screen at the same time. There we go. If I put this one across here, let's move. Can you put can you put the climi'm going move it? Is that better? Thank you. Can both see the example now. So you can use that example if you want to, but I do want it in your own words to see if you can change anything. Carlos and Evan, okay, just change it even if it's just a little bit. What we think in Evan for our introduction, will it let you write. So I could start you off, Evan. Oh, have we got something? Let's see. There we go. So you can use this one, but I want you to change it slightly. I don't want it to be exactly the same. Okay, so think about what else we could write. Have you ever wondered how let me get this up. That's. Astronauts eat in space. Well, let me tell you that it is nearly always bland food. Our new exciting food meal machine. We're using some alliteration there. Our new exciting meal machine. Can create the most delicious lasagna or pizza in just a few minutes. Okay? So it doesn't have to be long either, but it doesn't have to be the same as the example. You might want to create something a little bit different. Heaven, yours keeps going back to White and I can't see it. Oh, I like that. If you go to space and you want to eat lasagna, perfect. That's a great first sentence. Tell me what happens next. Carlos, what have you got? Then he lives in space, so he needs a very special meal machine. Good to do what? To enjoy eating delicious meals to Yeah Yeah. So instead of to make his meals, to enjoy eating delicious meals, search tch. Yeah. You go back here. Good. That's what I was trying to do. Evan was trying to move on to a separate line for you. Then you should try this machine, okay? Tell me more about the machine, Evan. This machine can. We've been working so hard with running out of time. Good to tell me why. Evan, don't finish there. I want, I want you to tell me why. So this machine can. What can it do? This machine can. How are you getting on? Carlos, can you tell me what you've got so far? Oh, you're on mute, Carlos. Can you turn turn yourself off mute and tell me what you've written? Well, ten people live in space, so he needs a very special meal machine shing to enjoy his delicious meals on good. Okay. So what can your machine do? Our meal machine is designed to to work without gravity, is designed to make delicious pizza without the need for gravity. Okay, put that sentence in for me instead. So we're just changing it a little bit, aren't we? Our meal machine is designed to make delicious pizza without the need for gravity. Good. Oh, Evan, we've got a technical word there automatically. That was good. Will we changing it? What about automatically without gravity? Can we put that technical word back in of ven? That was a good word. Can make lasagna automatically without gravity. Okay. Ignore the timer. Ignore the timer. Make lasagna automatically without gravity. Good, full stop. How do I how do I? How big got? Yeah, thank you. I've made it bigger for you. Okay. So Evan, you're now going to think about using numbers, okay. And your time at Burbie or so maybe first, second, third. Okay, so tell me what your machine is going to do. So think about yesterday. You you need to have a computer. Yeah good. You're gonna have sprinkling arenwe. I'm going write some fun for you. Sprinkle sprinkling we might put felt. Press a button, insert a password, how do you get it to turn on? Do you remember clap to third on? Rechange your color to red. Oh, that's a bit big. Let's go for 18. So how do we turn it on? Remember, we were thinking yesterday, do we call? Do we make a noise? Do we flap? Do we flip a switch? I'm going to write some words down for you here. Flick a switch, Press a button, call out. Something, insert the password, clap to turn on. Okay, you decide what you're going to do and I'm going to put some technical words and some verbs for you so you might have slice, chop, sprinkle, cover, mix. And then some technical language we might have convey about pneumatic, automatic, You might have pogs and wheels. If we just have a little look, just bear with me just a second, Evan. It's going to move up. We've got here cordless cog claw chamber. Oh, wherhave my words gone. Okay, I don't know where my things to turn on, switch on, turn spin, clap to activate insert password. So you might want to use any of this vocabulary. Carlos, how are we doing? I don't know. I don't know what I. Do I don't know what you either and goncarlos so come back to you, so hard to do. I don't know how to do it. Yes, it's gone. I'm going to write something, okay? Okay, start from there. Evan, try not to lose that one. Carlos, sorry. What have you got so far? I gone, I got into the, how does the machine work? Built. Okay, can you read me your introduction again? A gentic quspace so he needs a very special machine to enjoy eating his delicious meals. Almiro machine is designed to make delicious pizza without the needle for gravity. Good super colso. You've got a really good start there. How does your machine work then, Carlos? What do we need to do to make it work? Are we going to clap? Are we going to switch on something? Are we gonna turn something like your timer? Are we going to insert a path? Is it when recognition it's time like when it's 7:00? Oh so time activated we can have facial recognition as well. Okay? So we could say first at the designated time the machine will switch on. Okay so I'm going to write something for you here first the machine is time activated so at the designated time of 7:00p.m.the machine will turn itself on. I really like that Carlos. Well done. Okay, Evan, I'm not sure what's happening with yours here. Thank one. Let me have a look at it. Stop, steps up. I'm going to take the pen off you for just a second. Let's see what's happening. Okay, so is this your is this your in your machine? How it works Evan? Oh, hang on, tell me again. It is still introduction. Okay, okay, let me move it to each a bea bebecause. Oh, can you make it smaller? I will absolutely. It's your thoughts. Your thoughts when you want to like that, when you want to eat the eat it makes it a ke I I've got you've got it. 嗯。你每个。Good, right, boys, what we're going to do is we are going to stop there. Now in your workbooks, it will give you a different homework. Ignore that homework. I don't want you to do any pudding or any ice cream for Tim peak. What I want you to do is I want you to finish this. Okay? I am going to send you this example. That one, Carlos. Yeah, I'm going to send you the example. I'm going to send you my notes. I'm going to screenship this what we have here. I want you to finish that plan, that that explanation writing is really, really important that you do this for tomorrow because tomorrow is all about editing your work and if we do not have any work, we can do the lesson. Okay? So please, please, please finish this for me for tomorrow. Is that okay? Okay. Yeah. See, try your best. Try your best to finish this for tomorrow. So you've got everything you need. Do not copy my example, but you can use it to help you. You can make some changes to it, but just write it out. Make sure it's your right. Okay. Bye. I write it on a paper. You can write it on paper. Yeyou can write it on paper. I will send this to you. I will take this to you. Bye, Evan. Thank you. Have a great day.
处理时间: 29055 秒 | 字符数: 36,630
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分析结果 (可编辑,支持美化与着色)
{
    "header_icon": "fas fa-crown",
    "course_title_en": "0103 PL Writing SC G1",
    "course_title_cn": "0103 PL 写作 SC G1",
    "course_subtitle_en": "Writing Explanation Text for Astronaut Meal Machine",
    "course_subtitle_cn": "为宇航员餐食机器撰写说明文",
    "course_name_en": "PL Writing Session",
    "course_name_cn": "写作课程",
    "course_topic_en": "Developing and Writing an Explanation Text",
    "course_topic_cn": "发展和撰写说明文",
    "course_date_en": "Unknown Date",
    "course_date_cn": "日期未知",
    "student_name": "Evan, Carlos",
    "teaching_focus_en": "Reviewing language features (time conjunctions, causal words, technical language) and structure required for an explanation text, and beginning the writing process based on yesterday's plan.",
    "teaching_focus_cn": "复习撰写说明文所需的语言特征(时间连词、因果词、技术词汇)和结构,并基于昨天的计划开始写作过程。",
    "teaching_objectives": [
        {
            "en": "I can write an explanation text.",
            "cn": "我能写一篇说明文。"
        },
        {
            "en": "I can use my plan to help me write an effective explanation text.",
            "cn": "我能利用我的计划来帮助我写出一篇有效的说明文。"
        },
        {
            "en": "I can use all the language features of an explanation text.",
            "cn": "我能使用说明文的所有语言特征。"
        },
        {
            "en": "I can use all the presentational devices of an explanation text.",
            "cn": "我能使用说明文的所有呈现设备。"
        }
    ],
    "timeline_activities": [
        {
            "time": "0-10 min",
            "title_en": "Review of Previous Lesson (Tim Pek's Meal)",
            "title_cn": "回顾上节课内容(Tim Pek的餐食)",
            "description_en": "Recap on designing the food-making machine for Tim Pek (Lasagna) and the necessity of careful design due to outer space conditions (no gravity).",
            "description_cn": "回顾为Tim Pek设计的食物制作机器(千层面)以及由于太空条件(无重力)需要仔细设计的原因。"
        },
        {
            "time": "10-25 min",
            "title_en": "Review of Explanation Text Features",
            "title_cn": "说明文特征回顾",
            "description_en": "Detailed review of required language features: time adverbials, time conjunctions (e.g., first), technical language, and causal words (e.g., because, consequently). Review of structure: Title (question), Introduction, Steps (explanation), Summary.",
            "description_cn": "详细回顾所需语言特征:时间副词、时间连词(如'first')、技术语言和因果词(如'because'、'consequently')。回顾结构:标题(疑问句)、引言、步骤(解释)、总结。"
        },
        {
            "time": "25-40 min",
            "title_en": "Modeling Sentence Construction (Ice Cream Sundae Example)",
            "title_cn": "句子构建建模(冰淇淋圣代示例)",
            "description_en": "Modeling how to transform planning notes into full sentences using conjunctions and technical vocabulary, using an ice cream sundae machine plan as an example.",
            "description_cn": "示范如何使用连词和技术词汇将计划笔记转化为完整句子,以冰淇淋圣代机器计划为例。"
        },
        {
            "time": "40-65 min",
            "title_en": "Introduction to Writing Task & Video Support",
            "title_cn": "写作任务介绍与视频支持",
            "description_en": "Students review success criteria. Teacher introduces the task: writing up their machine explanation text (Evan: Lasagna, Carlos: Pizza). A video on writing an explanation text (How to take photos) is shown for further clarity.",
            "description_cn": "学生回顾成功标准。老师介绍任务:写出他们的机器说明文(Evan:千层面,Carlos:披萨)。播放一个关于如何写说明文(如何拍照)的视频以获得更清晰的指导。"
        },
        {
            "time": "65-End",
            "title_en": "Guided Writing Practice",
            "title_cn": "指导性写作练习",
            "description_en": "Students begin writing their texts. Teacher provides scaffolding, focusing on title structure, introduction, and initial steps, adapting support based on students' current location (Evan joining remotely, Carlos with paper). Time is called to finalize plans for homework completion.",
            "description_cn": "学生开始写作。老师提供脚手架,重点关注标题结构、引言和初始步骤,并根据学生的位置(Evan远程,Carlos使用纸笔)调整支持。时间结束时,强调完成作业的重要性。"
        }
    ],
    "vocabulary_en": "Lasagna, gravity, bland, puffy, consequently, consequently, subsequent, introduction, technical language, causal words, time conjunctions, conveyor belt, cog, rotate, initiate movement, cooling chamber, pressure pad, automatically, slice, chop, sprinkle, cover, mix, pneumatic, password, facial recognition.",
    "vocabulary_cn": "千层面, 重力, 平淡, 浮肿, 因此, 随后, 引言, 技术语言, 因果词, 时间连词, 传送带, 齿轮, 启动运动, 冷却室, 压力板, 自动地, 切片, 切碎, 撒, 覆盖, 混合, 气动的, 密码, 面部识别。",
    "concepts_en": "Structure and features of an explanation text (Title as a question, Introduction, Steps\/Explanation, Summary), Use of time conjunctions for chronological order, Use of causal conjunctions for cause and effect, Role of technical vocabulary, Organizational and presentational devices (paragraphs, numbering, diagrams).",
    "concepts_cn": "说明文的结构和特征(标题为疑问句、引言、步骤\/解释、总结)、使用时间连词表示时间顺序、使用因果连词表示因果关系、技术词汇的作用、组织和呈现设备(段落、编号、图表)。",
    "skills_practiced_en": "Planning, Writing (Explanation Text drafting), Active listening, Recall of learned concepts.",
    "skills_practiced_cn": "计划、写作(说明文起草)、积极倾听、回忆所学概念。",
    "teaching_resources": [
        {
            "en": "Pre-prepared planning notes for an ice cream sundae machine (for modeling).",
            "cn": "为冰淇淋圣代机器准备的计划笔记(用于建模)。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Example explanation text structure and sentences.",
            "cn": "说明文结构和例句。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Video demonstrating the structure of an explanation text (How to photograph wildlife).",
            "cn": "演示说明文结构的视频(如何拍摄野生动物)。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Writing checklist for explanation texts.",
            "cn": "说明文写作核对清单。"
        }
    ],
    "participation_assessment": [
        {
            "en": "Both students were present and engaged initially. Evan provided good verbal responses despite being in a distracting environment.",
            "cn": "两位学生开始时都在场并参与了。尽管Evan所处环境有干扰,但他仍提供了很好的口头回应。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Carlos was generally responsive when prompted, especially when reviewing the model sentences.",
            "cn": "Carlos在被提示时反应积极,特别是在回顾示例句子时。"
        }
    ],
    "comprehension_assessment": [
        {
            "en": "High understanding of the structural components and linguistic features required for an explanation text (conjunctions, technical terms).",
            "cn": "对说明文所需的结构组成和语言特征(连词、技术术语)理解深刻。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Students successfully applied these concepts when transforming notes into structured sentences during the modeling phase.",
            "cn": "学生在建模阶段将笔记转化为结构化句子时,成功应用了这些概念。"
        }
    ],
    "oral_assessment": [
        {
            "en": "Both students demonstrated good reading fluency when reading the criteria and examples aloud.",
            "cn": "两位学生在朗读标准和示例时都表现出良好的阅读流畅性。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Evan showed excellent recall of previous technical vocabulary (e.g., 'automatic').",
            "cn": "Evan表现出对先前技术词汇的绝佳记忆力(例如'automatic')。"
        }
    ],
    "written_assessment_en": "Writing process initiated for both students' respective machine explanations (Lasagna\/Pizza). Initial structure (Title\/Introduction) was established but the main body (Explanation Steps) remains unfinished for both.",
    "written_assessment_cn": "两位学生的机器说明文(千层面\/披萨)的写作过程已启动。初始结构(标题\/引言)已建立,但主体部分(解释步骤)对两人都尚未完成。",
    "student_strengths": [
        {
            "en": "Strong recall of previous lesson content and required writing features.",
            "cn": "对上节课内容和所需写作特征的记忆力强。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Ability to articulate the function of conjunctions and technical language accurately.",
            "cn": "准确阐述连词和技术语言的功能的能力。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Good reading ability demonstrated during instruction.",
            "cn": "在指导过程中表现出良好的阅读能力。"
        }
    ],
    "improvement_areas": [
        {
            "en": "Maintaining focus and minimizing background distractions (especially Evan).",
            "cn": "保持专注并最大限度地减少背景干扰(尤其是Evan)。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Translating abstract planning notes into cohesive, extended written paragraphs independently.",
            "cn": "独立地将抽象的计划笔记转化为连贯的、扩展的书面段落。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Evan needs support with the physical act of writing\/typing\/editing on the screen.",
            "cn": "Evan在屏幕上进行书写\/打字\/编辑的实际操作上需要支持。"
        }
    ],
    "teaching_effectiveness": [
        {
            "en": "Highly effective scaffolding provided through detailed review and modeling of sentence construction.",
            "cn": "通过详细回顾和建模句子构建,提供了高度有效的脚手架支持。"
        },
        {
            "en": "The use of video and clear checklists reinforced the learning objectives well.",
            "cn": "视频和清晰的核对清单很好地强化了学习目标。"
        }
    ],
    "pace_management": [
        {
            "en": "Pace was initially brisk during review but slowed down appropriately for guided writing practice.",
            "cn": "节奏开始时很快,但在指导性写作练习时放慢了速度,以确保跟上。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Some time was lost due to technical interaction and managing student distractions.",
            "cn": "由于技术互动和管理学生干扰,损失了一些时间。"
        }
    ],
    "classroom_atmosphere_en": "Positive, focused, and supportive, despite external noise issues affecting Evan's audio quality.",
    "classroom_atmosphere_cn": "积极、专注且支持性强,尽管存在影响Evan音频质量的外部噪音问题。",
    "objective_achievement": [
        {
            "en": "Conceptual understanding of how to write an explanation text was achieved.",
            "cn": "关于如何撰写说明文的概念理解已经达成。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Full writing of the explanation text was not achieved; it is assigned as crucial homework.",
            "cn": "说明文的完整撰写尚未完成;它被指定为重要的家庭作业。"
        }
    ],
    "teaching_strengths": {
        "identified_strengths": [
            {
                "en": "Excellent recall and application of complex writing terminology (causal words, time adverbials).",
                "cn": "对复杂的写作术语(因果词、时间副词)的出色记忆和应用。"
            },
            {
                "en": "Effective use of modeling by transforming simple notes into complex, feature-rich sentences.",
                "cn": "通过将简单笔记转化为丰富特征的复杂句子,有效地使用了建模方法。"
            }
        ],
        "effective_methods": [
            {
                "en": "Connecting new writing tasks to previous content (Tim Pek's machine).",
                "cn": "将新的写作任务与先前的内容(Tim Pek的机器)联系起来。"
            },
            {
                "en": "Using a dual-example approach (ice cream model then transitioning to their own topic) to ensure feature inclusion.",
                "cn": "使用双重示例方法(冰淇淋模型,然后过渡到他们自己的主题)以确保包含所有特征。"
            }
        ],
        "positive_feedback": [
            {
                "en": "Praise given immediately when students demonstrated strong recall (e.g., 'brilliant memory').",
                "cn": "当学生表现出对复杂概念的深刻理解时,立即给予表扬(例如'brilliant memory')。"
            },
            {
                "en": "Highly encouraging feedback on sentence constructions during modeling exercises.",
                "cn": "对建模练习中句子构建的反馈给予了高度的鼓励。"
            }
        ]
    },
    "specific_suggestions": [
        {
            "icon": "fas fa-volume-up",
            "category_en": "Pronunciation & Reading",
            "category_cn": "发音与阅读",
            "suggestions": [
                {
                    "en": "Continue practicing reading aloud to maintain fluency and confidence with longer technical sentences.",
                    "cn": "继续练习大声朗读,以保持对较长技术性句子的流畅度和信心。"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "icon": "fas fa-comments",
            "category_en": "Speaking & Communication",
            "category_cn": "口语与交流",
            "suggestions": [
                {
                    "en": "Evan: Ensure location allows for clear audio transmission next session to avoid unnecessary muting\/unmuting.",
                    "cn": "Evan:确保下节课的地点能保证清晰的音频传输,以避免不必要的静音\/取消静音。"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "icon": "fas fa-pencil-alt",
            "category_en": "Writing & Structure",
            "category_cn": "写作与结构",
            "suggestions": [
                {
                    "en": "Focus on completing the Explanation Steps section, ensuring at least one time conjunction and one causal conjunction is used per step.",
                    "cn": "专注于完成“解释步骤”部分,确保每一步至少使用一个时间连词和一个因果连词。"
                },
                {
                    "en": "Use the provided checklist to self-assess paragraphing and use of presentational devices (numbering) before submission.",
                    "cn": "提交前使用提供的核对清单进行自我评估,检查段落划分和呈现设备(编号)的使用情况。"
                }
            ]
        }
    ],
    "next_focus": [
        {
            "en": "Finalizing the Explanation Steps (main body) of the machine text.",
            "cn": "完成机器说明文的“解释步骤”(主体部分)。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Editing and refining the complete explanation text using the success criteria checklist.",
            "cn": "使用成功标准核对清单对完整的说明文进行编辑和修改。"
        }
    ],
    "homework_resources": [
        {
            "en": "Finish writing the explanation text for the lasagna\/pizza machine based on the shared template and today's discussion. Do not copy the teacher's example verbatim.",
            "cn": "根据共享模板和今天的讨论,完成千层面\/披萨机器的说明文。不要逐字抄写老师的示例。"
        },
        {
            "en": "Review the provided video on explanation text structure if concepts need reinforcement.",
            "cn": "如果概念需要加强,复习所提供的关于说明文结构的视频。"
        }
    ]
}
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